The thin line

I  had met Akash 5 months back, when he joined my project for the company I worked for . He was a fun loving fellow and very handsome. With good looks he also had gym body. He got on well with everyone from my team instantly and they all seemed to enjoy the attention he gave to them. But I wasn’t. I thought it was fake show and he was just pretending so that he gets in easily in the group. I did not even react well to his daily morning greeting. He did not care much about it though.
The very next day, I was assigned to teach him the work and later he would work with me. I was not very happy with it. He came to my seat right away and started cracking jokes on how difficult it would be for me to teach a dumb person like him. I smiled and told him we would start from the next day.

Starting from next day, we got to spend lot of time together. He was always his own funny self and had started to make me actually laugh at his jokes. A week passed, before I came to know that I was getting attracted to Akash. He seemed to have a hold on me. I would wait for him to come to office and listen to his voice. His smile made my day. We would go out for lunch and tea breaks together. He would tell about his family and life and share almost everything with me. I would listen intently and it seemed I knew him from a long time. He was this long lost friend who had suddenly entered my life and turned it upside down. Everything was perfect when he was around. He would understand me so well. Give solutions to my problem. We would laugh incessantly every now and then. What was that feeling, I used to wonder. And to make matter better or worse, he also seemed to have the same interest in me. We had chemistry surely and there were talks about it within the team as well. I was not in for this and tried hard to ignore it initially but this attraction was so high that I could not help but roll back to him, when he smiled. I knew it was wrong. Very wrong!

Then one day something happened which I was dreading but still expecting. I remember, that day he had worn his best shirt to office, had shaved perfectly and had put an extra dose of his daily perfume. Yes, indeed it had THAT effect he had wanted to put on me. I knew something was fishy and tried my best to avoid an eye contact with him. We went for tea at the same usual time and I was particularly silent that day.
Out of the blue he suddenly turned to me and asked “I like you, do you like me as well? I know something is going on here and I just want to be sure if it’s same from your side as well”. I was expecting this but not in this way. I looked at him for few moments and then  suddenly closed my eyes and sighed. “Yes, I do like you but I am really sorry Akash, it’s not possible and you know why. I should not have let this happen. It’s my entire fault. I let it go too far.”

I excused myself and ran to the washroom. I had tears in my eyes. I washed my face and looked at myself in the mirror. There was so much guilt in my eyes. I was so ashamed, felt like someone had stabbed me in the heart. After few minutes, I picked myself up and went back to my seat.Akash was sitting there checking his facebook profile. We did not speak the whole day after that and I thanked the gods when he was called for training for the next few hours.

As the day ended, I quickly wrapped up my work and got ready to leave before Akash came back. I actually ran the whole way to the bus stop. There was turmoil in my head. I was lost.
I reached home an hour later. I washed myself up and went to the kitchen to make tea and prepare for the dinner. At 7 pm the doorbell rang; my heart skipped a beat and my legs froze. He had come home. I took a deep breath in and opened the door.

There he was standing. The love of my life, My husband of 3 years. As soon as I saw him, I couldn’t control myself and hugged him. It seemed I had seen him after years. Tears were all over my face and I was so happy to have got my senses.

“I love you Siddharth. Never leave me; I will not be able to survive without you.” I cried frantically, kissing him all over his face. I was repeatedly asking him to pardon me and there he was standing puzzled as to what had gotten into me. He happily took me into my arms and consoled me even though he didn’t know what it was for. I looked into his eyes and my whole life flashed before me. His love, care and support. He worked so hard to give me a good future and loved me like no one else could. I didn’t know if I deserved him. I was about to fall for another man. I was just a hair like line away from committing the biggest mistake of my life. I was ashamed of myself. That’s the day I realized what this man meant to me. Fortunately, I made this discovery sooner that brought an abrupt end to what might have developed into a more serious extra marital relationship

There is a very thin line of infidelity.

Once crossed, it can never be repaired. There will be physical attraction always, whether a man or a woman, it’s for our judgment to decide which way to take. Infidelity doesn't only mean physical affair but crossing THAT line that separates your spouse from the rest of the world.it can be emotional as well

 pic courtesy-google